Dad's friend was apprehended. Officers of Her Majesty's government accused him of being an accessory to a serious crime. The car was worth $13,000.
My dad bought some land. He paid a lot more than $13,000. It had been stolen too. Her Majesty's government gave my dad some paper to say he owned the land.
200 years ago some people came to visit. They went away again. They told His Majesty where they had been. His Majesty thought about this for a little while and then he smiled. He ordered them to be sent back again to steal the place.
After they did this, they returned to His Majesty to tell him what they had done. His Majesty said “Good. Now divide the land into little portions and sell it to as many people as you can.”
But the people who really owned the land objected.
When His Majesty heard that, he was very angry. “Lock them up or kill them,” he ordered. And then he sent some officials to go there and take soldiers so this would be done.
Anyway, after a bit of time, the king died. There were no more princes, so instead they made a queen to give the orders. The queen wanted to get rich too, so when she heard how rich the king got she had a better idea even.
She said to the officials, “Make a govmint over there. Choose some villains you know. Pay them well and make them judges. Give them what they want. But keep selling the land. I want the money.” And so the officials went away and it has been done like that ever since. And instead of having to give orders all the time, the queen could go to lots of balls and dance with rich jukes and do fun stuff like that.
After a few years my father sold the land again. He thought he would make a big profit. But Her Majesty's officials said, we will only let you do this if you cut Her Majesty and us in on the deal. My father did not want to be killed or locked up by Her Majesty's soldiers like the other blokes, so he agreed.
Anyway, he was still better off, so even he did this a few more times. Each time Her Majesty's officials sliced out a cut for the queen and cut for them. Now, the queen wanted to encourage my father and so she gave orders for us to get some concrete street guttering outside our house.
My father was pleased with this. So were the other people who lived in our street. They thought, we can do this too; maybe the queen will give us a new sheltered bus stop too.
When there were enough of these people buying and selling the little portions of land, the queen said “OK, this is working well enough now. I'm going to retire early and let my officials carry on with your help.”
So the queen made a new law that said anyone who bought some of the land the king had stolen could vote to choose the villains to carry the system on.
And that is how we got the Westminster system of govmint and law in Australia.
Of course, because this idea worked so great, the queen's sons and daughters tried to do it all over the world. But they weren't as fiercesome as the first guy though and mostly they got the door shut in their faces.
That's why its only us and a little bunch of tiny fearful places that gotta put the queen's badge in the corner of the flag.
© Bog O’Mullet 2010